The Reliable One


I’m thinking about Abraham and Sarah, who, even after recieving messages and confirmation of recieving the blessing of a child, went ahead and had Abraham sleep with another woman and impregnate her.

I always considered them so foolish for treating their marriage so carelessly, even though it was apparently the custom of the day for couples, who couldn’t have children themselves, to use another woman to build a family through.

I am sure that, as much as Abraham heard from and encountered the Lord, he would have received understanding that he was waiting for further promptings/direction from the Lord on the matter.  I’d be quite unconvinced if the Lord was said to have been the One who directed Sarah and Abraham to have a child by a different woman.

I believe they began struggling with belief that the Lord was truly going to be reliable.  They may have questioned whether He was going to be consistent in keeping His word to them.  Was He going to allow them to hope in expectation and then crush it by helping them to physically receive their blessing?  Perhaps they were leaning on their own understanding, which might tell them that they had to make it happen themselves to recieve it, thus using the custom they knew.

I have been mindful of these entraping thoughts on my own journey to physically recieving blessings that I have specifically asked for.  When in those feelings of hopelessness concerning my Lord’s reliability, my trust is really pressed roughly on every side.  When trust goes down, the feeling of responsibility on self to need to figure everything out and hold it together on my own strength rises up.  But even on days when I don’t see the progress and process, there is no reason to doubt the Lord.

To believe Who the Lord says He is and to know His character becomes the vital key to not doubting.  The Lord is Love and to mislead or break trust are NOT loving characteristics for any relationship and not of the Lord.  Misleading and trust breaking tear down a relationship….and the Lord says in the Gospels that

“A kingdom divided against itself will collapse.  A home filled with strife and division destroys itself.  And if Satan is fighting against himself, how can he accomplish anything?” ~Mark 3:24-26

If the Lord is hurt us in these unhealthy ways, then He would be tearing down His own body/household.

So, on days when what you see or feel doesn’t seem to be matching what you know the Lord is guiding you in and wanting to bless you in, you can hold on to who He is and have confidence that His intention is still to progess forward. And each detail, some seemingly so small, isn’t always immediately noticeable, but will make up the bigger physical manifestation of the blessing!

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Nothing is Lost


I was sitting at my meditation spot, in front of a large window that overlooks trees, when the Lord gave me a simple, yet powerful perspective about feelings that would prove to be very helpful in the future.

I watched the gray-touched clouds move quickly and consistently in front of the sun, so that it stayed rather uninviting for outdoor enjoyment, not giving the sun a chance to reach me through the window or shine rays on the lawn.  A realization then came to me; no matter what kind of day, with the various types of weather we have, the sun is actually always there in the daytime.

Normally, people tend to say “it is a sunny day” or “the sun is out”, but in reality the sun is always ‘out’ in our day hours ( on a larger scale, the planets revolve around the constantly-present sun).  The only reason every day doesn’t appear to be sunny is because of the cloud coverage and/or man-made interferences.

In spiritual terms, the cloud cover is like feelings of doubt and fear that can create the appearance that we’ve lost access to the gifts, blessings, power, communication, reliability/surety of the spiritual realm and the Lord.

Victory, freedom, authority, joy, blessing, progress, trustworthiness of the Lord and everything that the constantly-present Lord has made accessible to us is always present.  These treasures,  like the sun, are ALWAYS present despite the feelings that are caused by thoughts and by whatever battle may occur in our mind.


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With Some Intention


couple sitting on bench

I used to wonder if finding love always happened in an immediate and spectacular way (to the person, it’s probably spectacular in significance!).  The Lord, though, is not always in to doing something immediate and spectacular because one of the ways I’ve found His blessings and answers to appear is in subtle ways.  At least in my life they do.  That means I don’t immediately notice something all at once having been answered, but is progressive.

Love doesn’t just suddenly come to two people on a bus who make eye contact or walk past each other in a park.  A relationship begins with putting the desire into the Lord’s care and, after deciding what you are looking for, it takes intentiality of friendship with someone that can subtly build into a marriage relationship.

One day the Spirit shared with me that a relationship (or any blessing) begins with deciding how much you care about it and that can determine what you are willing to intentionally do and the fears you are willing to reject by the Spirit.  You decide if it is worth you being taken out of a comfort zone through spiritual promptings and not allowing fear or expectations of everything happening immediately to restrict you, in Jesus’s Name.

The men in the gospel of Mark, who were trying to get their paralyzed friend to Jesus, were coming with the expectation of recieving a blessing and it was their intentionality that helped them receive what the Lord wanted to bless their friend with.  It is said,

Since they couldn’t bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof over the place where he was. They dug through it and let down the mat on which the paralyzed man was lying” (Mark 2:4)

The group of friends didn’t stop efforts in obtaining what they desired when they couldn’t get through the door to the house because of a difficulty (or the appearance of one).   They didn’t automatically decide that it wasn’t meant to be just because Jesus didn’t walk right up to them as soon as they approached and made it work immediately.   They had a part to play in trusting and taking a step.

I wonder if the thought of climbing to the roof was truly their idea or if it was divinely inspired….I think it is possible.  Even though they didn’t have the Spirit to prompt them in every situation -to encourage them to be intentional any time they needed it-we DO have daily guidance when we ask.  The Spirit knows the route to fully recieving the blessing physically…and it is a trustworthy route!

Every love story is different because the Lord is that creative!  Spiritual promptings will vary.  But if a relationship is truly of the Lord, then the intentiality will always be fruitful. It’s a matter of first asking the Spirit to guide you through with every detail that the Lord has already gone ahead of to fulfill the blessing of companionship.  Understand that every detail is so vital to receive, especially to prepare you for such a long-term relationship!  The rest definitely takes trusting the Lord while acting on promptings and wisdom from the Spirit, even when it is not the way you would have thought to work it out.   Then just receive, be thankful that the Lord delights in blessing you, and that He wants to take care in every detail of your relationship!

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Not If, but When It Happens


There is a fascinating old testament account that has really contributed to my verbal declaration of belief of physically recieving blessings I had been waiting for.

Judges 13:1-25 shares a great demonstration of faith from a couple who recieve pleasant news about the fulfillment of their desire.  An angel from the Lord appears to a woman in Israel who hasn’t been able to have children, proclaiming that she will indeed have a son.  The woman shares this with her husband, Manoah who refreshingly doesn’t question her testimony, but prays for the angel to return with more instruction on how to raise the boy.  This prayer of his is answered and the angel returns.  

Speaking to the angel (he doesn’t realize that it is an angel at this point), Monoah responds in a powerful sureness, saying

“When your words come true, what kind of rules should govern the boy’s life and work?” (Judges 13:12)

Monoah did not say IF it comes true, but rather WHEN it comes true, showing a belief that would result in the fulfillment of their desired blessing.

That statement comes to mind often now when I am trying to believe to receive a request or blessing, declaring “when it happens”, not if it happens.  Even before I found this incident, my Lord had brought to my attention to be mindful of what I am saying and declaring.  One day, a while back I had been on the floor demanding a specific precious blessing and accusing my Lord of not fulfilling it, nor doing anything to fulfill it.  With a gentle conviction, I became aware of what I was proclaiming, as I quickly changed my accusation of Him not fulfilling it, to claiming that He has fulfilled it.

Peace and hopefulness promptly accompanied my changing of statement, as well as some apologies from me!  I crossed the gap in belief and proclamation from ‘if it comes to be’ to ‘when it comes to be’.

What a person claims can be powerful in wonderful or negative ways.  What are your words claiming?


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A Matter of Time


I used to believe that my Lord was endlessly telling me to wait and then wait longer whenever I continuously hit disappointments and unfulfillment, especially concerning meeting my future spouse.  I felt so powerless in His ‘painfully cruel game’ that I assumed was to push me to my limits in patience.

This view of the Lord did anything but give me more patience or love for Him, but rather created a root of bitterness and hopelessness of recieving my blessings and trusting the Lord I was trying to serve.  To me, the Lord was completely responsible for how long it took to physically receive blessings of companionship, healings, and other blessings.  I hadn’t yet realized that the Lord hears and answers anything that He has promised in His Word the first time we speak it, be it prosperity, healing, purpose in something specific, etc.

The Lord is not limited by time.  He doesn’t need the span of years to release to us the spouse He has in mind for us, healings of all forms or wisdom about a situation, blessings of the Lord’s will, etc.  It is not in His character to play ‘cruel waiting games’ with us.  He wants you healed or blessed as soon as possible!  Ideally, He doesn’t desire any of us to have to be sick or without the good gifts from His hands at all.

The physical delays can result from different factors that aren’t deliberately my Lord’s doings, like a need for increased faith in us, that may not be immediately realized.  Sometimes our mindsets, shaped from past experiences, can hinder us greatly and require attaining freedom to see clearly and not be deceived again. Wrong beliefs/views about the Lord’s character may need addressed to better trust Him and show Him faithful in already answering what we have needed and desired.

Many people I’ve run in to come across as believing that the Lord is always treating them like the only thing He is ever working on in them is patience…that they are just waiting for someday when He decides to act.  A vision He showed me creates a different picture.  I saw Him working with us like children, wanting us to understand what it’s like to walk in freedom…like a parent watching and assisting the child lightly, but because him or her has never walked in that way before, the Lord is trying to let them have a part in the process instead of being a dominating force.  He is helping us advance to where we become aware of truth so that we will never be deceived or hindered again by what had before.  So that we can walk in more freedom from hindrances that delay the recieving process and amount of time it takes.

A friend of mine had come to realize that her personal healing had been delayed because of other deeper emotional healings, stemming from her unpleasant childhood.  These emotional  blockades are what needed to be broken through to fully recieve what she had been seeking…and before she could see and understand that the Lord had already worked it out for her to receive.  Thanks to the Lord, who revealed the blockade, she was able to see these hindersome ropes.  The emotional ropes were holding her back from greater closeness with the Lord and from everything she most sought.  But the truth was able to set her free, as she refocused her prayer and steps for progressing through the blockades.  Seeing truth aided her in greater trust that the Lord has been faithful in helping her to freedom rather than being the One keeping her in bondage for a long period of time.

 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32)

My own blessings being sought had been delayed because of religious lies I had believed about the Lord,  resulting in me not fully placing what I was waiting for in the Lord’s hands.  Because of my Lord exposing them, I finally saw these hindersome lies from the enemy.  After seeing the problem, I asked the Spirit in faith to demolish these blockades in me (with the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word and revelations from the Lord) and for the wisdom on what my part is in accomplishing this.  The lies had to be removed first before the blessings could fully come through and be recieved.  And since I was now aware of the problem, I could speed up the process by the Spirit.  

The removal process can feel challenging at first, but just recognizing the change and victory in the Spirit is so exciting!  Making it through results in the issue being gone and the opportunities never to be deceived again!  Even more so, knowing that the Lord has worked on the issue even before we realize should result in praise, reassurance and thankfulness!



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Bitterness Broken in His Presence


I remember how interested I first was to learn about the Lord and His truths when I became a believer.  I wrote connecting verses and revelations that came to mind on whatever paper (or napkin) was within my reach at that moment.  It was so exciting to be gaining all the understanding I could handle.

Along the way, though, I had begun picking up man-made religious views of the Lord’s character, in combination with viewing Him as having the flawed human characteristics of those who had hurt me in my life, as well as not receiving special requests I had been asking for.

Views like these certainly become toys for Satan and his army of darkness to play with; a foothold with the goal of corrupting my relationship with the Lord through distortion of His true character.  For me, He began looking more like an enemy than my Friend, because bitterness was weaving through.  When bitterness is there, nothing is beautiful or enjoyable!

One religious view that the Spirit eventually exposed was that the Lord did not support enjoying things and having fun because I might lose focus and He wasn’t a fun God.  The truth I came to realize, though, is that times of having fun and enjoying things are JUST AS important as studying to appreciate the Lord.  He’s formed many fun things and experiences in His creation to enjoy and I have even experienced His humor!

I also thought I had to have it all together to receive certain blessings I was seeking.  But,

The Lord will not withhold/keep any good thing from those whose ways are upright’ ~Psalms 84:11

Greek translations for the word upright are ‘complete’, ‘whole’ and ‘without blemish’, all of which Christ has already made us through the cross if we have willingly received salvation.  So, this means that I don’t have to try to have everything together in my own efforts to receive any good thing I have sought to receive!

In my mind, the Lord was also impatient with me.  What a lie!  I didn’t even have to read every verse in the bible about Him being patient to truly believe this…I felt it deeply in my Spirit while spending time in His presence.  The Lord is completely patient!

Some other special and important truths are that the Lord does listen and cares about our prayers and that He values our friendship highly.  
Personal desires and hopes, like marriage, are very valuable to Him as well.

I really learned all these truths in the Lord’s Presence.  I began learning all these true characteristics of the Lord especially after He spoke to me one day, concerning blessings; 
“I can’t give you what I don’t have to give”.  I understood what this statement meant….He can’t bless me or anyone with something I haven’t entrusted to Him.  I then put every thing that was precious to me in His hands and it was immediate Him working on me to receive blessings I had sought, and while all of these desires were in His hands, I was able to get to know who He truly is and to this day, I’ve seen nothing but beauty!

People can quote the bible all their lives and tell you that the Lord cares and that He is love, but it isn’t until you experience Him in His presence that you can truly have confidence in and trust Him for who He says He is!


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In Jesus’s Name!


I once pondered the truthfulness of having been given authority over anything at all in my life, yet I wanted to know that I had some sort of say in my life and not simply a silent puppet.

I decided to meditate in the Lord’s presence and discovered that the Lord does give me room to partner with Him as well as Him generously giving me the power of the name of Jesus to banish the darkness from tormenting me!

The Spirit first brought to mind the account of Jesus healing Peter’s mother-in-law.  When He touched her hand and the fever left her.

This account came to mind one night while I was getting ready to go to bed.  Out of nowhere I became extremely dizzy and unbalanced, as I began to sweat and my legs felt like they would give out at anytime from underneath.  Laying down or sitting up, It was frightening and I wondered if I would have to call someone.  I began to cry out and plead to the Lord to help.  Then I thought for a moment about Peter’s mother-in-law….I sat up and commanded powerfully for it to leave me in Jesus’s Name.  As I laid back down, whatever had hit me vanished within a few minutes.

The Spirit later led me to a verse concerning a Roman officer pleading to Jesus for healing for his servant.  After the officer humbly tried to deter Jesus from having to come to his home rather than just commanding from afar to be healed, Jesus replied…

Go, let it be done just as you believed it would”.  And his servant was healed from that moment  ~Matthew 8:13

Jesus here invites the soldier to be involved in the healing process rather than Jesus coming to his house and healing the servant directly.

Another verse of interest finds a crowd witnessing Jesus casting out a dark spirit from a man.  They observe,

What is this?  A new teaching-and with authority!  He (Jesus) even gives orders to impure spirits and they obey Him” ~Mark 1:27

The significance of this verse is brought out by another verse in which Jesus shares in the gospel of John

“Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father” ~John 14:12

In Mark 1:27, it is revealed that Jesus has been given authority and that whatever is hindersome to the Lord’s work must obey.  Then John 14:12 shares that we can take part in what the Lord did and will even be able to accomplish more than what Jesus has done during His earthly ministry.  So if Jesus had authority over the works and movement of Satan’s dimention of darkness then so do we!

And if that isn’t clear enough, Jesus Himself states

“Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you” ~Luke 10:19

What a gift to be able to partner with the Lord with the power of Jesus’s name He gives us!  Let’s use it!

You will make your requests in my name, so that I will have no need to ask the Father on your behalf, because the Father himself loves you, and because you have loved me and believed that I came from God (John 16:26-27)



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Wait Up for The Lord

grayscale close up photo of woman holding flower crown running in grass fieldIn the waiting period for that tailor-made spouse, a person must examine through prayer and meditation to make sure that he or she is not running ahead of the Lord.

The Spirit had prompted me to examine this in myself after the Spirit warned me through a fellow believer.  This believer and I had not even been discussing anything concerning this idea.  It was a very rough realization to see that I had indeed been running ahead of the Lord when I was believing and saying that I was ready for a relationship.  I discovered that I hadn’t yet been ready in my own heart to want to receive it yet.  And though I have now come to that readiness, I wondered about ministry opportunities I may have missed while focusing too far ahead in my life.

In all blessings and circumstances, both the Lord and us can benefit from making sure we are not outrunning Him.  The Lord is benefitted because it allows Him unhindered appreciation from us on current blessings that would otherwise be broken by an impatience for the next blessing.

We are benefitted when we keep a check on this because then we aren’t wearing ourselves out with disappointment and anger at the Lord on failed efforts to make something happen.  My relationship with the Lord was hindered by a wall of disappointment and misconceptions from wondering if He really did want to bless me with what i asked.  He certainly does want to bless me with what I ask and is always blessing me and everyone with something,  for the bible states

We have all received one gracious gift after another from His abundance (John 1:16)

He deserves thanks and acknowledgement through appreciation of one blessing at a time, though.

I can see the extreme benefits of not jumping ahead of the Lord in the gift of marriage.  Every day with your spouse is so precious and that time shouldn’t be rushed, unless you want to lose that special time with them.  For example, a friend of mine had constantly been worrying about when and how she was going to get pregnant.  That is what she was focused on as far as her sex life with her husband.  I had to remind her that intimacy with her husband was so special any time and that was the blessing she ought to want to appreciate at that point.  She could count on her desire for a baby to be fulfilled eventually and then she would have even more joy in her life, but her husband is the bigger blessing and she had him there.

Satan’s network of darkness would love to rob the Lord of our thankfulness/appreciation, trust, and enjoyment in anything. After all

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My (the Lord’s) purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life (John 10:10)

The Lord wants to bless us and let us savor each prayer come true….and He deserves that joy and appreciation.  So don’t wear yourself out by running too fast.  Enjoy the resting points along the way!

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Channeling the Craving

calmness close up closed eyes flora

I once had a male friend who hesitantly  admitted that he masturbated often.  He was confused about the acceptability of this action though, because he couldn’t find any clear answers in the bible about the Lord’s heart on the matter.  He wanted to live in righteousness, but he didn’t have a clear understanding concerning his urges. He needed a good perspective that would help him decide what he was going to do with these human cravings.

Here is a perspective from my spirit specifically for unmarried people……

The bible does not seem to specifically address this and other human tendencies for an individual to create personal desirable feelings for their body, even though verses may speak to each person’s spirit in relation to life situations in their current season.  The bible does insist on believers honoring the Lord with their bodies (1 Corinthians 6:20) and that whatever you do, to do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).  Again, these may look different to each life.

That being said, people ought to consider carefully when and if they decide to personally pleasure themselves sexually- how it could affect them on a daily basis, if it will negatively impact their relationship with the Lord (such as distract, become a mastering force, lead to unwise choices, etc), and take away from their future spouse.

Choices are capable of negatively affecting a person’s life if doing it without discernment or meditation….

‘Desire without knowledge is not good’ ~Proverbs 19:2

In the area of personal gratification, lack of consideration and understanding of the body is not good because when the body has experienced different amounts of pleasure, it will surely crave it again and perhaps more frequently— what if giving in constantly to urges works like someone becoming too dependent on antidepressants or pain medication?  These are both taken to quench the emotional and physical side of things.  But as the body becomes more satisfied with the relief they bring, if not careful, the person might crave more frequent dosages than they should or that wouldn’t suffer consequences for.  Also, for some people, they have become ‘immune’ to their medication (no longer affective) and have need for something different or stronger.  

In relation to private pleasure, the curiosity or urge for more and greater satisfaction is always a real concern.  

Everyone does not fall in the same ways, but I have to wonder how many people who pleasure themselves, with every urge, ends up led into sex with someone or someone’s outside of marriage because feeling was no longer exciting and pleasurable enough alone


Now, in relation to a future marriage, I wouldn’t want to take away from the excitement and curiosity of playfulness in marriage, and pleasuring oneself often could threaten to do that. 

Marriage creates an outlet for those sexual cravings and curiosities which can help contribute to the strength between spouses, because excitement is vital.  The spouses can explore ideas together without already being ‘used to’ or bored with the feelings of pleasure going into the marriage.  In my opinion,  it is more exciting to save as much as possible for that future husband or wife!





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An Appealing Nature


In a letter to the Corinthians, the apostle Paul makes a statement to the church 

    I appeal to you with the gentleness and kindness of Christ ~2 Corinthian 10:1

My Lord does not have a forceful nature, as the world does, and is not demanding or degrading in assuring accomplishment in what He desires.  Neither is He a burdensome or forceful companion in His relationship with us.

My Lord truthfully claims, 

    Let me teach you, because I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls ~Matthew 12:29

This approach is such a welcoming gate, demonstrating that Love is not something to be feared or something unpleasant to receive .

The Lord IS love.  NOT the world.

This contrast in natures is like the difference between condemnation (worldly darkness) and conviction( Lord/love)….

Where condemnation is a harsh breaking down of the life fuel of hope…

But conviction is a gentle hand softly facing you in the wisest direction

His nature from the darkness is the difference between stirred chaos and calm silence, for

A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath ~Proverbs 15:1

When unrest shakes me intensely, I am soothed only by the lullaby of the non-threatening gentleness and beautiful, appealing humility that is the nature of my Lord. 




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